Oasis

      Needless to say, these last couple of days have been hard. Who says that life is all of a sudden easy when you're doing the right thing and going the right direction? Liars, that's who. For some reason I can't quite explain, I've just been having inner tension of some sort that's leaving me nervous and anxious for no real reason at all. Maybe it's everything causing it--work, school, being engaged, life in general--or maybe it's nothing. I really couldn't say.

        Sometimes that's just how it is--you feel like you're being stretched in so many different directions that you might just snap. You just want to cuddle up with a teddy bear and pretend like everything will just take care of itself. But luckily for me, I happen to be engaged to (in my very biased opinion) the best woman in the whole wide world. Sure, she doesn't make all my problems go away (as nice as that would be), but she gives me a reason to keep on going, to keep on pushing right when I think I can't go on any longer.

        It's almost like, metaphorically speaking, I've spent my life in a desert, trying desperately to survive. Along the way, I've seen plenty of mirages, hoping to find a place of refuge from the deathly heat; as I chased each mirage, all I would find was disappointment and despair. Then I found Olivia, my Oasis in this otherwise dry and dreary world.
      
        Yeah, yeah, I know, it sounds mushy and corny, but it's true. She makes life so much better. Sure, she can't make my problems disappear, but she gives me strength and determination that I never knew I had. She makes me want to be better, to try harder to be the perfect guy that she truly deserves. Far too often, I fall short of this. Why she ever chose a flawed guy is quite beyond me--she deserves a Superman, a Knight in Shining Armor, a Prince Charming. I definitely don't fit the bill for any of those--I'm not bulletproof, I can't fly, I don't have a white steed, and I'm no handsome prince...but for whatever reason, she loves me. I don't even know what to call it...it's way too amazing to call it luck that things would turn out this way.

        In any case, our wedding is fast approaching. It's next month! That's so crazy to think. Olivia managed to sell her contract yesterday, so she's going to be moving in to our apartment this weekend; that's pretty crazy as well. It's almost like there's a weird time paradox--it seems like the wedding is so far off, and yet everything is falling into place and working out so fast. That probably makes absolutely no sense but that's the best that I could put it into words. It brings to mind the lyrics from a Phil Collins song..."So close, and yet so far".

       Anyway, the moral of the story is, in spite of trials, troubles, tribulation, inadequacies and what have you, I'm happier than I've ever been. Sure, I'm nervous about loads of stuff...I'll be sharing the rest of forever with the woman of my dreams. Who wouldn't be somewhat nervous about that?


Picture from  http://attackofthecute.com/on/?i=1284